1 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,635 2 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:52,761 When it gets cold outside, New Yorkers head inside, 3 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,472 and look for ways to generate heat. 4 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:59,017 Hey. Watch those hands, mister. 5 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,187 They are cold, and you are warm, so... 6 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,148 - People are looking. -No one is looking. 7 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,609 Petrovsky. 8 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,486 Hey, hi. 9 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,655 Seated at the star table, I see. 10 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,198 Where else would I be? 11 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,576 -Come and join us. -No, we wouldn't wanna... 12 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,829 -Yes, come. -You saved our lives. 13 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,082 Ten thousand restaurants in New York and everyone's at Pastis. 14 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,542 Introductions. 15 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,669 This is John Paul Sandal, 16 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,630 -the most fantastic painter in New York. -Hi. 17 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,757 -I'm not paying for lunch. 18 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,594 -You know my assistant Lee. -Yes, hi. 19 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,431 Audra Clark, she's the editor of Artlife magazine. 20 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,516 -Carrie Bradshaw. -Hi. 21 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,811 Handsome Lee has just informed us of your upcoming show in Paris. 22 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:43,854 Congratulations. 23 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:48,483 Yeah, right, a solo exhibit at the Galerie Nationale du Jeu de Paume. 24 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,943 Just another day. 25 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,862 You are so full of shit. 26 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,947 I never said I wasn't. 27 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:57,534 It's your first new exhibit in what, four years? 28 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,452 Six. 29 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,039 Well, the world is waiting with breath that is baited. 30 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,124 We need menus and a wine list. 31 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,834 So, how are they? 32 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,544 The oysters are very good. 33 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,046 No, his pieces. 34 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,342 Oh, um, I don't know. I haven't seen them yet. 35 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,303 -Are you an artist as well? -No, I'm a writer. 36 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,346 Novels? 37 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,932 No, I write a column for a newspaper. 38 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,352 -The Times? -The New York Star. 39 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:28,106 It's very good column about women, men, and sex. 40 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,609 Very smart, and very funny. 41 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,152 I'm sure. 42 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,404 You're not sure, you're snide. 43 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,825 -May I borrow your newspaper? -No, no, what are you... Oh. 44 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:39,951 Let's see. 45 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:46,958 "It's my belief that the last time anyone actually enjoyed the 69 position 46 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,710 was in 1969." 47 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,254 48 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,964 I think it's funny. 49 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,053 That wasn't one of my smartest ones. 50 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,851 And further uptown, Charlotte didn't mind the cold. 51 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,604 She had a new puppy love to keep her warm. 52 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,107 That is the most precious little thing. 53 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,900 -Thank you. -What's her name? 54 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,944 -Elizabeth Taylor. -Oh! 55 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,407 That is the fourth person to stop and gush. 56 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,492 I swear that dog's getting cruised more than me, 57 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,285 and we're on the corner of gay and gay. 58 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,914 She loves the attention, doesn't she? Look how she prances along. 59 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,250 -Do you see her prancing? -Yes, she's very prancy. 60 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,628 She was a show dog, you know. She even competed at Westminster. 61 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,838 Did she ever win anything? 62 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,590 Well, no, but I think that was only because her last owner 63 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,050 wasn't very supportive. 64 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,428 I think she misses the competition. 65 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,055 -See how she's showing off. -She's a freaking attention whore. 66 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,849 -Cute dog. -Thank you. 67 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,101 I'm thinking of re-entering her. 68 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,311 I think with my love and a little encouragement, 69 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,147 she could actually win. What do you think? 70 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,773 What the hell, do it. 71 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,817 Nobody puts baby in the corner. 72 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,112 Dirty Dancing, hello? 73 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:02,284 And over in Brooklyn, someone was not feeling so prancy. 74 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,121 -Hey. 75 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,749 Man, your face is freezing. 76 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,959 I had to walk all the way from the subway in these heels. 77 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,502 My feet are killing me. 78 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,963 Why didn't you just carry 'em and wear sneakers like everyone else? 79 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,006 Stop. 80 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,009 You can take me out of Manhattan, but you can't take me out of my shoes. 81 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,344 Then stop complaining about them. 82 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,889 You're right. I have much bigger things to complain about. 83 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,433 Did you get a chance to install my DSL line today? 84 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,477 I was putting up sheetrock in Brady's room. 85 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,229 Steve, you know I can't live without internet access. 86 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,482 You want your kid to live without walls? 87 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,567 Here. This ought to cheer you up. 88 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,652 The Pony Express finally got our address right. 89 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,946 -We have mail? -Yeah. 90 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,531 My Tattle Tale came. 91 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,117 Finally, a connection to the real world. 92 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,578 I can't believe that you read that crap. 93 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,747 I love it, it's my thing. Let it go. 94 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,960 -Oh, Magda and Brady-- -I'm reading this, you no longer exist. 95 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:59,132 That night, over at the only restaurant that seemed to exist... 96 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,010 Oh, there's Samantha's boyfriend, Smith. 97 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,721 -Oh, where? -Star table, let's say hello. 98 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:05,847 I'm nervous. 99 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,767 He's so unbelievably hot in that Gus Van Sant movie. 100 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:14,147 But can he pull off a fuchsia Ozwald Boateng shirt? 101 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,775 Hi, sorry to interrupt. 102 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,069 We've met before. We're friends of Samantha's. 103 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,321 I hear she's a wonderful woman. 104 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,242 Oh, my God, that's a good look for you. 105 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,827 It's very Jefferson Starship. 106 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:31,081 Well, I decided to turn a little hair loss into a lot of hair gain. 107 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,999 Oh, you're getting wiggy with it. 108 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,918 Come on. Jam in here right next to me. 109 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,796 Oh, we don't wanna disturb. 110 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,923 Are you kidding? Any friend of Samantha's. 111 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:40,924 Okay. 112 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,094 This is my boyfriend Marcus. Marcus, Smith Jerrod. 113 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,096 Oh, whatever you're drinking, looks yummy. 114 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,391 Smith Jerrod. Gah... All right. 115 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,767 How you doing, boss? 116 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,103 Dude, my girl loves you. 117 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,189 -You gotta let me get a picture. -Only if you get my friends here. 118 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,232 All right. 119 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:04,614 I heard that Aleksandr Petrovsky is having a solo show in Paris. 120 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,158 Don't believe everything you hear. 121 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,536 It's exciting, tell me about your show. 122 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,873 Why would I want to talk about my work 123 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,917 when I have you in bed with me? 124 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,839 Because I want to know about it, 'cause it's important to you. 125 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,550 This is what's important to me. 126 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,218 Hmm. 127 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,140 -I'm serious, come on. -So am I. 128 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,850 Very serious. 129 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:37,480 I just... I wanna know more about what you do. 130 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,191 If for no other reason, than I would like to avoid 131 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,027 having this face in restaurants. 132 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,280 133 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:50,660 I prefer keeping my work and my private life separate. 134 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,413 All this art talk, it's so fucking boring. 135 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,166 It wouldn't be to me. 136 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,834 Then you're an exception to the rule. 137 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,086 Well... 138 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:04,633 then if you're not going to tell me about the Gallery National de blah blah, 139 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,302 then I need to get serious about my busy day. 140 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,637 Oh, don't go. 141 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,725 -I have many, many... -Oh, schedule. You're so New York. 142 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,687 Stay here, do nothing, get in trouble. 143 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,190 -Be spontaneous. 144 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,902 But I'm meeting people for things. 145 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:28,907 It's cold out there. Stay here where it's warm. 146 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,121 Samantha, I don't know how to tell you this, 147 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,583 but I was reading my Tattle Tale and there's a picture of Smith. 148 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,670 Miranda, what in the world are you doing reading something like that? 149 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,881 -I love it, it's my thing. Let it go. -Oh, Smith is always in that rag. 150 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,468 Yeah, but this time, he's gay. 151 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,931 Oh, "Boysss Night Out." 152 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,850 "Smith Jerrod cozies up to Broadway dancer, 153 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:59,771 Marcus Adant, and unidentified older gay gentleman." 154 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,981 Oh, poor Stanford. 155 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,566 -Smith is not gay. -Of course not. 156 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,777 So, this makes you his beard. 157 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,489 -I'm a beard in a wig. - You're not upset? 158 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,535 Oh, please, after the big C, you don't sweat the small stuff. 159 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:18,081 And besides, once the gay rumors start, it means you're really a star. 160 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,791 161 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,546 -Hello. -Hi, sweetie, it's me. 162 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,256 Carrie, where are you? 163 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,217 Oh, bad news, I don't think I'm gonna make it. 164 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,885 You can't come? Are you okay? 165 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,637 No, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, 166 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:36,516 I'm just all the way downtown with the Russian and it's very cold out. 167 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,144 She's still downtown and it's too cold. 168 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,188 Well, you know, we haven't seen you in forever and... 169 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,481 Oh, I have news. 170 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,610 Elizabeth Taylor is going to be in a dog show. 171 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,867 -My Elizabeth Taylor. -Oh. Congratulations. 172 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:58,121 And Miranda wants to really talk to you. And Smith is gay. 173 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,457 What do you mean you're not coming? 174 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,499 Smith is gay? 175 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,335 Don't try to change the subject. I came in all the way in from Brooklyn. 176 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,545 Oh, who are you kidding. 177 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,006 You'd use any excuse to come in the city. 178 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,008 You owe me a trip to Brooklyn. 179 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,928 Carrie, we're fine. Everything's fine. 180 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,513 Smith is not gay. 181 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:19,476 It's too cold to leave the house. You stay downtown with your hot man. 182 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,685 Okay. 183 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,152 Ah. 184 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:33,740 Which is exactly what I did. For the next four days. 185 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:34,699 Oh, my. 186 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,910 187 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,084 With my column tragically overdue, 188 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,878 I finally left the Russian's warm apartment. 189 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,963 Oh, good God. 190 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,673 191 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,176 And came home to the tropics. 192 00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,934 When you've been spending all your time in your new world, 193 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,728 it's easy to forget that there might be people trying to reach you 194 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,188 from your old world. 195 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,607 Hey, kid, how's it going? 196 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,901 We just put our new Cabernet to bed. 197 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,402 Made me think of you. 198 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:13,905 Give me a call. 199 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,658 Saturday, 10:00 p.m. 200 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,536 Playing hard to get, huh? 201 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,497 Called your cell, but I think I copied the number wrong. 202 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,333 Unless you're a ticked off guy named Paco. 203 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,044 Hey, I wanna talk to you, call me. 204 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,588 Monday, 2:00 p.m. 205 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:35,135 Carrie, it's me. Again. 206 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,638 Listen, uh, did I do something to tick you off? 207 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,600 If I did, call me and I'll apologize. Okay? 208 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,019 Okay. 209 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,856 Wednesday, 8:00 p.m. 210 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,320 Deleted. Deleted. Deleted. 211 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,116 I deleted Big. 212 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,868 -You deleted Big? -Yep. 213 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,287 Did you call him to tell him you deleted him? 214 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,914 -Nope. -Wow, that's new. 215 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,001 Delete, delete, delete. Three messages last week. 216 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,420 -What do you think he was calling about? -Don't know. 217 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,631 And for the first time, don't really care. 218 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,468 After his last trip, I finally got it. What's the point? 219 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,472 Things are serious with the Russian. 220 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,975 Really? That's great. 221 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,061 It's just so different and so... 222 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,521 What? 223 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,192 It's grown up. There's not a lot of fuss, 224 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:37,071 there's no confusion about how he feels about me, he tells me all the time. 225 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,616 Unlike answering machine up there in Napa. 226 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,576 -Sounds perfect. -Yeah. 227 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,412 -There's just one thing. -Thank God. 228 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,414 I was beginning to feel bad about Steve and me. 229 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,832 What's the thing? 230 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:48,917 Well, 231 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,713 we don't really have anything in common but each other. 232 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:57,050 We're not really involved in each other's lives. 233 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,303 He never shares anything about his work. 234 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,930 I don't talk to Steve about my work. 235 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,515 -And he doesn't mind? -I think he prefers it that way. 236 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,309 But you guys share everything else. 237 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,395 Because we're in Brooklyn. There's no one else to talk to. 238 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,480 239 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,066 Besides, Carrie, every couple's different. 240 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:18,613 Yeah, I guess I just had this idea about a couple sharing everything. 241 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,657 At least their passions. 242 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,742 You want passions on top of passion? 243 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,038 244 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,957 Hey, Carrie, welcome back. 245 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,000 You see the new walls? Nice progress, huh? 246 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,754 -I'll say. It's really coming together. -What's all that? 247 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,423 Oh, I stopped off and picked up some dessert for you ladies. 248 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,343 Brooklyn's finest, we have cheese cake, 249 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:41,970 and cannolis. 250 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,846 What a delightful borough. 251 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,473 I'll put this stuff out in the kitchen. 252 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,018 I love having your friends over. 253 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,692 I want you to meet him, my Russian. 254 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,318 Can't wait. 255 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,364 That log is really heating up the joint, huh? 256 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,407 257 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,366 258 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:06,828 Good morning. 259 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,788 All night again? 260 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,999 How's the work going? 261 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,918 It was clear from his silence we weren't having 262 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,212 passions on top of passions for breakfast. 263 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,548 Hey, what are you doing Sunday night? 264 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,216 I have no idea, why? 265 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,971 Well, I was thinking since I met some of your friends the other day, 266 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,806 maybe you could meet some of my friends. 267 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,851 Those people were my colleagues, not my friends. 268 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,853 My friends are mostly in Europe. 269 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,731 Well, my friends are here. And they're fantastic. 270 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,900 Then on Sunday, I'll be happy to meet your fantastic friends. 271 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,444 Oh goody. 272 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,531 And FYI, you have a friend in New York, me. 273 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,867 You're not my friend, you're my lover. 274 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,578 And that is a much better thing. 275 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,163 276 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,750 Mmm. Come to bed. 277 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,085 Oh, no, no, no. I have to go home. 278 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,421 I have to write my column. I can't turn it in late again. 279 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,381 Work here. 280 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,966 I can't, my computer's at home. 281 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,261 I have a computer very good for writing columns. 282 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,182 You would let me use your fancy computer? 283 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,808 Mmm-hmm. 284 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,811 In exchange for one hour in bed. 285 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,691 Okay. 286 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:25,615 They say that opposites attract, but they never say for how long. 287 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:29,243 Should the relationship-savvy person stoke the fires of passion 288 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,412 with the kindling of work and friends 289 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:35,083 or should we simply be satisfied with the romance that sizzles? 290 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,377 I couldn't help but wonder. 291 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,420 Without sharing your worlds, 292 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,382 can even the hottest relationship stop cold? 293 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,597 -Um... 294 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,477 Meanwhile, Samantha was about to hear the hottest rumor 295 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,562 from the city's hottest rumor mill. 296 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,815 Two young PR girls. 297 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,776 Did you see that picture of Smith Jerrod online? 298 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,194 I can't believe he's gay. 299 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,446 No one that good-looking is ever straight. 300 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,365 I thought he was dating Samantha Jones. 301 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,660 All this time, I thought she had the hottest sex life in New York City. 302 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,578 Turns out she's just a fag hag. 303 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,331 And that stopped Samantha cold. 304 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,792 And here comes the hound group. 305 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,961 This is a beautiful group. 306 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,214 There's the Pharaoh Hound champion Eleanor Pendragon, 307 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,425 four-time Best in Show winner. 308 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,343 And take a look at that outfit. 309 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,637 Everyone's talking about me. 310 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,141 In the blink of a tabloid, I went from Demi to Liza. 311 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,059 At least people know who you are. 312 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,478 "Unidentified older gay gentleman." 313 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,189 Marcus got three auditions off that picture. 314 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,774 I got outed. 315 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,651 Oh, poor Stanny. 316 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,362 How can they just assume I'm gay? 317 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:52,618 Okay, I've got ten bucks on Lord Reginald the Fourth down there. 318 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,163 -Any takers? -Oh, you are a good friend. 319 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,748 All the way from Brooklyn to see a bunch of dogs run in a circle. 320 00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:01,210 She came to watch my baby get baptized, I came to watch her baby get judged. 321 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880 I almost didn't show my face. "Fag hag." 322 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,175 There go years and years of fucking everything that walks. 323 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,760 I thought you weren't gonna sweat the small stuff. 324 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:12,472 Look, I can't have cancer and be a fag hag. 325 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,765 Hey, you guys want to have drinks with the Russian tomorrow night? 326 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,725 -Sure. -Oh, I'm in. 327 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,976 Me, too. 328 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,562 Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. It's just the girls this time. 329 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,608 Oh, what am I now? Your unidentified older gay friend? 330 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,359 You'll be in the next round, I promise. 331 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,737 Okay, I gotta go backstage and check on the little mother. 332 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,738 Well, take your time. 333 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,950 We've still got sporting and working and toy. Oh my. 334 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,081 This was not the type of blow job I was hoping for today. 335 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:43,461 She looks so pretty. Yes, she does. 336 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,838 Did you see how impressed the host committee was? 337 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,465 I really think she has a chance. 338 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,467 You know, you think with all these faggy little dogs, 339 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,261 there'd be at least one horny circuit muscle gay here. 340 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:56,182 No, nothing but boxy thick-legged ladies and tweedy old queens. 341 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,350 Shh. 342 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,809 -Char. -Hmm? 343 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,394 Did you cut yourself with the scissors? 344 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,771 There are drops of blood here. 345 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,858 Wait, it's coming from her. 346 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,780 -No. Don't tell me. -Oh no, she's in heat. 347 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,907 -Hey, how's it-- 348 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,035 -What's wrong? -The freaking dog just got her period. 349 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,247 -Excuse me? -Oh, yeah, Aunt Flo's in doggy town. 350 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,457 -Show over. - Don't say that. 351 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,667 We can still compete. 352 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,086 I once won a junior gymnastics meet when I had mine. 353 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,421 It's a dog. 354 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,383 What are you gonna do? Run around looking for a teeny tiny tampon? 355 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,385 356 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,889 You're right, it's not funny. 357 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,975 I'm a woman. I should know better. 358 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,687 359 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,984 Trouble. Elizabeth Taylor just got her period. 360 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,277 -What? -Mmm-hmm. 361 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,320 Backstage. That time of the month. 362 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,364 I thought she looked a little bloated. 363 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,575 And she was so bitchy earlier. 364 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:56,951 365 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,869 And here come the toy dogs. 366 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:03,249 Many viewers don't realize that these little dogs can actually 367 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,460 be a lot harder to care for than ones ten times their size. 368 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:10,172 Grooming a Yorkie or a Pomeranian like Champion Philip Turner 369 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,425 can take up to three hours a go. 370 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,635 Gait is important for this group, 371 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,305 and the King Charles Spaniel is moving nicely. 372 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:20,641 Next to her is the Shih Tzu, and there's the Maltese 373 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:24,854 followed by Miniature Pinscher champion Big Bark Little Bite. 374 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,272 375 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:34,905 The judges narrowed it down to the Toy Poodle, 376 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:39,577 champion Diamond Pico, the Shih Tzu, champion Yurosaki, 377 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,913 the Pomeranian, champion Justine Greystoke, 378 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,875 and the King Charles Spaniel, Elizabeth Taylor. 379 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,920 Come on, Elizabeth Taylor. Woo! 380 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,931 Charlotte was a dog show natural. 381 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,517 Thanks to her blue blood background. 382 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,437 Let me see the move. 383 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,522 And speaking of blood... 384 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,783 The judge is examining the dogs' gaits one more time 385 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,618 before he makes his decision. 386 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,952 Okay, Elizabeth. 387 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,704 -One. 388 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:29,251 It's the King Charles Spaniel, followed by the Shih Tzu, 389 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,213 -the Pomeranian, and the Toy Poodle. -That's my friend. 390 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,590 All the dogs were champions, 391 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:38,636 but to the judge, Charlotte was the best in show. 392 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,388 Period. 393 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,518 Samantha Jones, I thought that was you. 394 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,853 Tom, what are you doing here? 395 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,480 I handle the press for this tacky thing. 396 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:50,439 Oh. 397 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,442 Listen, could I get Smith Jerrod's number? 398 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,737 Tom, no. I'm fucking him. 399 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,573 Sure you are. 400 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,288 I'm a laughingstock. I have got to put a stop to this. 401 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,958 And from dog show to doggy show... 402 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,668 Are you sure you wanna do this? 403 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,211 It worked for Paris Hilton. 404 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,839 I need to set the record straight, literally. 405 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,799 But I don't care if people think I'm gay. 406 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,095 This isn't about you. 407 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,223 Now, when we get going, make sure to say, 408 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,476 "Samantha Jones, you are one hot piece of ass. 409 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,271 I could fuck you all night long, Samantha Jones." 410 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,649 How are you going to get this around? 411 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:38,738 I'm a PR pro. I know exactly whose hands to drop this into. 412 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:44,493 The very next day, two PR girls got an anonymous triple X from FedEx. 413 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,413 - Go get it! 414 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,294 You have to come next time, she was so happy. 415 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,881 You know what would make her happy? Letting her off that show leash. 416 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,092 Oh, no, I don't think so. What if she gets hurt? 417 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,721 Come on, honey. Give her a little victory lap on her own. 418 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:09,310 You're right. Okay, Elizabeth. Go play. 419 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:23,324 Oh, look, she made a little friend, isn't that sweet? 420 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:32,416 Oh, oh, no. No, stop, stop that. 421 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,710 She's a blue ribbon winner, stop. 422 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:40,090 Stop it. Honey, go. Do something, Harry. Hurry. 423 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,426 -Stop it. She's in heat. -Stay away. 424 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:47,139 No, stop it, get off. Get off Elizabeth Taylor. 425 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,767 Watch out. More coming, honey. Oh! 426 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,103 Watch out for the big one. 427 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,730 - Hey, hey, hey, shoo! -Oh! 428 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,858 Elizabeth Taylor got gangbanged in the park? 429 00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,652 Oh, God, that is so '80s. 430 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,405 There we were at Asia de Cuba waiting for my lover de Russia. 431 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,573 -Oh! 432 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,785 Hi, where are you? 433 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,830 Seriously, I could not believe how many dogs she was with. 434 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:13,374 It was disgusting, my sweet little girl. 435 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,251 Well, I think she's a woman now. 436 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,670 -Oh, really? 437 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,881 No, no, I understand. 438 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,509 Oh, okay, I will. 439 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:25,302 Okay. 440 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:30,015 -Yeah, he's not gonna make it. -Ah, that's too bad. 441 00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:30,933 Is he okay? 442 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,561 Yeah. No, he's just in the middle of something at his studio. 443 00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:35,396 -He can't stop right now. -I understand. 444 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,606 If he's feeling inspired then he shouldn't stop. 445 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:41,235 He's getting ready for this big exhibit at some Paris museum. 446 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,028 He's been staying up nights. 447 00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,323 Oh, I'm disappointed. I wanted you guys to meet him. 448 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,700 Another time. 449 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,620 Compliments of Mr. Petrovksy with sincere apologies. 450 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,831 Aw. 451 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,376 Hey, you know what, why don't we finish these off, 452 00:22:57,459 --> 00:23:00,129 crack this open, give him some time and then go over there and say hello. 453 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,839 Oh, honey, you sure you want to disturb him? 454 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,299 Yeah, yeah, we'll just go say hi. 455 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,467 He's always telling me to be more spontaneous. 456 00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:07,928 457 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:11,307 A couple cocktails and a bottle of champagne later... 458 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,436 Eighth floor, Lingerie. 459 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,857 -Uh, apartment, studio. - Ah, oh. 460 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:24,570 -He has the whole floor. -Ooh. 461 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,072 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 462 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,283 Sister's got to get ready. 463 00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:30,826 464 00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:32,620 465 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,664 -Hello? 466 00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:44,340 Oh! Hi, hi. 467 00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:48,010 -What are you doing? -I'm being spontaneous. 468 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,637 I told you I was working. 469 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,264 I know, but I just wanted my friends to meet you. 470 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:54,266 Well, Charlotte, you've met. 471 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:59,730 But, this is Miranda and Samantha, a.k.a. Foxy Brown. 472 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,482 -Hello. -Hello. 473 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,028 And I wanted them to see the house. 474 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,447 When I say I'm working, I'm working, okay? 475 00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:12,868 I'm sorry, guys, I'm very, very busy, but please do stay. 476 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,996 Enjoy the apartment, we'll meet one day, all right? 477 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,540 Sorry... 478 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,170 Oh. 479 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,423 I'm sorry, I thought... 480 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,634 -It's fine. -He's working. 481 00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,720 Oh, do you guys still want to see the apartment? 482 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,849 Well, it's late. I should get back to Brooklyn 483 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,726 before Steve thinks I've defected. 484 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:40,521 Another time. Foxy's ready to hang up her wig. 485 00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:41,689 486 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,066 Do you wanna come share a cab with me uptown? 487 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,821 Oh, no, no, I'm think I'm gonna stay. 488 00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:51,365 -Okay, nighty night. -Okay, sleep tight. 489 00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,033 Bye. 490 00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:55,577 Bye. 491 00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:00,958 492 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:03,794 493 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:11,760 -I am so glad to be home. -You are? 494 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:16,098 I love you for loving my friends. 495 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:22,521 And I love you for no walls, and cheese cake, cannoli. 496 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,899 497 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:30,320 Well, if you love me for that stuff, what's gonna happen now? 498 00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:34,158 -I put in your DSL line. 499 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,161 Steve. 500 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:40,873 501 00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:53,469 And although Steve had satisfied Miranda, 502 00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,596 she still wanted more. 503 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,065 504 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,944 Samantha Jones, you're one hot piece of ass. 505 00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:11,987 Yes. 506 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,739 I'd fuck you all night long, Samantha Jones. 507 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,032 508 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:21,413 Samantha's hot tape cooled Miranda's love of gossip for good. 509 00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:24,541 Or at least for now. 510 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:27,628 And try as I might, 511 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:31,548 I could not forget the Russian's icy treatment of my friends. 512 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:39,973 Hey, I need to talk to you. 513 00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:47,439 Uh, I know that you're busy, but those were my... 514 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,776 Is something... 515 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:52,778 Are you okay? 516 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,281 Yeah, I'm fine. 517 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:06,500 No, you are not fine. 518 00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:13,799 Did something happen with... the piece? 519 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,010 Hey, come on, talk to me. 520 00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:24,434 What if it's not enough, huh? 521 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:26,645 All these pieces, 522 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:29,439 six years. 523 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,233 It's going to be enough. 524 00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:35,279 It's true I don't know anything about the piece but... 525 00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:40,742 you are brilliant. 526 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:47,124 "The world is waiting with breath that is baited." 527 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:51,837 Oh, she's just an uptight bitch. 528 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,631 Well, that's better. 529 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,425 You're a little scary. 530 00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:01,054 So, talk to me, what's the problem? 531 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:04,850 I may not understand, but... But I'll listen. 532 00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,647 Well... 533 00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:14,443 Yesterday I looked up, 534 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:20,908 and the entire thing looked so utterly stupid 535 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:24,286 and flat and needless and childish... 536 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:26,955 It's a cold hard fact. 537 00:28:27,581 --> 00:28:32,336 Sometimes, there's not enough time in a night for both your worlds. 538 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,379 I'm only afraid of one monster 539 00:28:34,504 --> 00:28:36,465 Not at all what I hoped... 540 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:40,761 I stand illuminated... 541 00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:45,849